Essential steps to Building Self Confidence
Building Self confidence is sometimes about doing a reality check. Try this for yourself..
“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. “
Peter T. Mcintyre
When someone talks about building self-confidence, what they’re usually talking about is being able to feel good about themselves and being assertive enough to be able to resist the negativity that comes from others.
If you can identify with this, you may feel at this stage that this is a massive step from where you are now. In fact it’s probably a lot easier than you think – especially with help!
Your lack of confidence most likely comes from messages you’ve heard in the past and you need to be able to contradict these with evidence from the present.
Are you really not good at anything? (Playing football, cooking, parenting, helping, cleaning/keeping house, DIY, being punctual…)
Are you really not worthy of praise for doing something well? (Surviving, caring for people, organising, painting…)
Can you really say that you’ve never achieved anything? (Winning a race, learning to play a musical instrument, using a computer, creating a great relationship…)
Is there really nothing you can be proud of? (Producing children, making a fancy dress outfit, putting up a bookshelf…)
Ask other people:
What do you think I’m good at?
Do you think I deserve praise for anything in my life?
What do you think I’ve achieved?
What should I be proud of?
What’s the best thing about me as a friend/brother/sister/parent/colleague/team mate…)
I think you may be surprised at what you find out about yourself, and because all the questions you’re asking are positives, this should help in building self-confidence.
There may be things you want to change, and that’s fine, but don’t try to change everything at once. You may have the motivation but taking on too much will set you up to fail and leave you exhausted and disillusioned.
As the saying goes “What’s the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time!”
Don’t forget that other people can you help too. Find yourself someone to be your mentor. This needs to be someone you trust with your personal, inner-most thoughts and, preferably, someone who is confident and competent in the areas you want to improve.
Perhaps you can employ a coach to help you to identify the positives within you and to support, encourage and advise you through the process of change.