Discover Methods and Techniques to get self confidence
Methods and techniques you can use to help get self confidence,
“If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.“
Dr. Robert Anthony
There’s no doubt that many people feel that having someone like a coach to help you work out the most effective methods for you, is the best solution. However, there are some methods and techniques you can try to make it less likely that your confidence will fail you at the crucial moment. For instance:
- If you’re going into an unfamiliar situation, do a bit of research so you know what to expect. Having absolutely no idea may leave you feeling very vulnerable. For example, if you’re going to a reception, try to find out who else is going, what people usually wear and what kind of things normally happen.
- If you expect to be in a confrontation with someone, maybe in the workplace, perhaps with a friend or possibly when you go to complain about an item you want to return to a shop, rehearse it first.
Think about all the possible things that may be said or objections that may be raised then consider your replies and practice a few times. (Being caught unaware can certainly put you on the back foot.) Prepare yourself for possible negative reactions and don’t lose your cool.
- If you’re going into a new situation and you know someone who has been there and managed successfully, speak to them. Ask them how they dealt with it, what they said, and – just as important – watch how they are as they tell you.
Your body language is as important as the words you say and the way you say them. For example, if you speak in a whisper and look as though your body is about to fold up, it doesn’t matter how good, logical or accurate your case is. What will be seen is your lack of confidence in what you’re saying.
Of course, in any of these situations you could ask yourself “What are the worst things that can happen?” Realistically there will be times when, on balance, the risk isn’t worth taking, but I think you’ll probably find that this question will reveal most often than not that the consequences are minor. So if you don’t consider this question seriously you’re in danger of investing a lot of energy in imagined outcomes that, in reality, are very unlikely!
Also, the thing about self-confidence is that it can be ‘faked’.
Even people who normally have confidence, from time to time, find themselves in new and challenging situations where they may feel a degree of un-confidence. In this situation you have two options;
- Allow yourself to give in to it
- Pretend – to yourself and others – that you’re in familiar territory, you’re comfortable and at ease.
Let’s take the example of speaking in public. You may be giving a talk or a best-man speech. It may not be something you’re used to so you’re very nervous. That nervousness (lack of self-confidence) could show through.
But let’s say you decided to pretend to yourself that you’re very confident because you’ve done this successfully before. You can put on ‘protective armour’ of self-confidence and you come across as self-assured and at ease!
One way of doing this is by ‘imagining’ or ‘visualising’. Close your eyes and see yourself walking confidently onto the stage, into the room, or getting up from your seat. See yourself giving this talk, making this speech, and seeing people listening intently, smiling or laughing when they should, applauding you at the end.
Make sure you visualise this vividly – see every detail of the room, smell the room and the flowers decorating the table. Feel the paper with your notes on. Hear the chatter of the people before you start, the hush just before you begin, and the confident sound of your voice. See your comfortable stance or the easy way you walk across the stage. Feel the confidence and the good feeling you get from a job well done. Believe what you see!
This is a useful, temporary solution and, although it isn’t the ultimate answer, the best thing is, when you pretend to be confident, if you visualise it strongly enough an amazing thing happens. You’ll actually FEEL more confident.
This will at least give you the breathing space to tackle the issue in the longer term, and many people find that doing this with the help of someone else or undertaking and confidence coaching, is a very effective way to do it.
You can also try reading some inspirational material to help you to start believing in yourself and your own abilities.
Using these simple methods and techniques will undoubtedly help you in your quest to build your self-confidence.